nightmare eyes

1. It was a Wednesday afternoon. We were out shopping in the city. Your mother called you. I had never heard you speak about me to someone else before. But I tried not to blush and pretended not to hear when you referred to me as “your girl”.

2. 12:35am, you turned the light off and climbed on top of me. You were kissing my neck and I could feel the pressure of my hip bones against yours. Your hands were sliding down my waist. I don’t remember what happened next, but my t-shirt was on the floor and your body was intertwined with mine. I had never felt so close to you before.

3. Our favorite 1980s themed diner by my apartment with jukeboxes at each booth. You put in 25 cents and chose some obscene rap song, blasting it over the loudspeaker. We got a thousand dirty looks from the other customers who were at least three times our age. You and I, giggling and heaving in between bites of food. My mouth hurt from smiling and I hadn’t laughed like that in a very long time.

4. One time I spent the night at your house and you had to be out the door by 6am. It was still dark and cold. Winter. You didn’t make me get up, you let me sleep in your bed. And before you left, you tucked the sheets in around my curled up body and kissed me on the forehead.

5. I never cry around anyone. And although you knew I struggled with depression, you had never seen me cry. One night I was feeling broken and you asked me if I was okay. I never answered you, I just cried. You didn’t say much, but you held me tightly with my head on your chest and that’s all I wanted.